As recounted by Mathew Serig:
I was walking out of the forest thru a grassy area when suddenly to my left is what appears to be a red devil, about average human male size or so, with black ram horns, wearing a light gray suit, no tie, white dress shirt, just sitting in a green, accent chair, holding a fancy teacup in one hand and saucer in the other.
Devil, takes a sip, “Mathew, you’re looking rather poorly. Care for a cup of tea? You look like you could use one.”
Mathew, “No thank you.” I keep walking and as I do he in that chair keeps moving along with me.
Devil, “Is it because of the fangs and claws and horns and tail? Oh, Mathew, that’s very bigoted of you. I didn’t ask to be made this way. Do you know how many perfectly good chairs and sofas I’ve ruined because of this thing?” as he grabs the end of the tail. “And why the spade end? You’re people made this up, you know. Some gods damned, or probably, gods blessed cleric or group of clerics thousands of years ago thought up my kind as a way to scare the faithful away from making deals with the malacenes.”
I don’t reply, just keep walking. Devil, “I would expect someone of your intelligence to know that there is a vast and significant difference between my kind and the malacenes – I am not a representative of
the Malicious gods here to get your soul for endless servitude. I am an independent agent and I do not need your soul.”
I don’t reply, just keep walking.
Devil, “Where are you going, Mathew? Heading back off directly into the mouth of lethal danger? One would think with what you’ve been thru over the past few days you’d enjoy a bit of respite here.”
Mathew, still walking, “Please go away.”
Devil, “You don’t mind if I walk with you, do you?”
Mathew, still walking, “Yes I do. Please go away.”
Devil, “Well, you can’t technically make me go away, and you’re not going to try and battle with me?”
Mathew, still walking, “No.”
Devil, “Well then it looks like we’ll be traveling together for a little ways. Let me introduce myself, I am Lu’I’enday.”
Mathew, still walking, “Please go away.”
Devil, “Ooohh, don’t be rude, Mathew, that’s unbecoming. I appreciate that fact that you’re out of sorts, not in your best state, but you being short with me is undeserved.” I’m about to ask him how he knows my name, but I have a feeling how he knows my name and I don’t want to engage with him.
Lu’I’enday, “Where are you going, Mathew? Do you have some important meeting awaiting your attention?”
Mathew, still walking, no reply,
Lu’I’enday, “Your stoicism is commendable, but it has its limits. The fact of the matter is the longer you are in this place the less likely you are to leave it.”
Mathew, still walking, no reply.
Lu’I’enday, “You’re a bright boy. You know what I am. You know what I want.”
Mathew, still walking, no reply,
Lu’I’enday, “This place wasn’t made for mortals. Do you wish to die in this place in some ignominious way?”
Mathew, “We all have to die sometime.”
Lu’I’enday, “Well, technically you more so than I. But do you really want to die being eaten by some carnivorous flower, your head slowly dissolving in it’s digestive juices while your back half sticks out of it’s maw? Come now, Mathew, you don’t want that do you?”
Mathew, still walking, “Dead’s dead.”
Lu’I’enday, “True, but what of those you leave behind? Hmm? Forget what you want. What about what you need?”
Mathew, still walking, without looking at Lu, “Please go away.”
Lu’Ienday, “How about this, I’ll go away and let you wander off into whatever precarious situation you seem bent are getting yourself into, if you listen to the terms of the contract. How does that sound?”
Mathew, still walking, “Do I have a choice?”
Lu’I’enday, “No, not really”.
Mathew, still walking, “After you tell me the terms, please go away.”
Lu’I’enday, “Splendid, my boy,” and he hopped off his chair, teacup and saucer gone, and locks arms with me and we walk without missing a beat. Lu’I’enday, “Just for you, here is the deal I’m willing to make: I help you leave this place, and once you return to the Mortal Plane you call me there. Once there, I do no malice, nor do I instigate any malice. I will only be in the Mortal Plane for one, full, continuous century. And, of course, I tell no one or thing, or transmit the knowledge of our deal in any way shape or form.
Mathew, keeps walking, no reply.
Lu’I’enday, “I am willing to modify this contract any way you see fit. You write the terms. That’s how badly I want out of this place.”
Mathew, still walking, “And you’d be willing to give up your immortality to possibly be killed in the Mortal Plane? For what reason?
Lu’I’enday, “You have no idea what it’s like to be here – it’s so boring. I’ve been here for thousands of years. There’s nothing to see and do that I haven’t done and seen. Me going to the Mortal Plane would be something of a vacation.”
Mathew, still walking, “You stated the terms, now please go.”
Lu’I’enday, “As I said I would, I shall. But before I leave you I must tell you, Mathew, more powerful beings than you have succumb to this place. You can wield magic, but you’re not a powerful mage. You’ve survived up to this point, barely, and the longer you stay here, the greater the chance you’re going to be killed. That is not good for me, or you. So, if, when you should find yourself in another, shall we say, distressing situation, you have only to call my name, even if it is sub-vocally, and I will pluck you out of whatever danger you are in – with no cost to you. You will not owe me a thing. You are no good to me dead, Mathew. Do you wish to negotiate now so that we can both leave this place, or will you be stoic and keep us both prisoners here?
Mathew, still walking, no reply. Lu’I’enday, “As you wish. You are a bright mortal, Mathew. A logical mortal. Do what is logical,” and Lu’I’enday disappears.
